Three things at one Sunday lunch stopped Bianca, 50. Her mum Norma, 83, in Bendigo has always set a proper table, but the fridge was nearly empty, the same stained cardigan was back, and unopened mail sat by the kettle. "I've just been busy, love," Norma said. Bianca wasn't convinced.

Bianca's story is an illustrative scenario, not a real client testimonial.

Trust that instinct. Families rarely see one dramatic event; they see small changes that don't add up. One sign means little; two or three is worth acting on.

The six signs families notice first

  • 1. Mail and bills piling up. Unopened letters and final notices mean paperwork has become overwhelming.
  • 2. Weight loss or an empty fridge. Expired food or visible weight loss means meals are being skipped.
  • 3. Missed medications. Full blister packs, out-of-date scripts, or confusion about what's been taken. Raise this with the GP promptly.
  • 4. Unwashed clothes or slipping grooming. The same outfit every visit often means bathing and laundry have got hard, and embarrassing to mention.
  • 5. Withdrawing from people and routines. Dropping bowls club, church or coffee can mean transport is hard, confidence has dipped, or low mood or memory changes.
  • 6. Bruises, falls and "I just slipped". Families hear about these last. A fall is a reason to act now.

What to do next: two calls

Make both calls with your mum, not behind her back.

Call the GP. Several signs have treatable causes: medication side effects, low mood, vision problems, an infection. A check rules those out and puts the changes on record.

Call My Aged Care (1800 200 422), the entry point for government-funded help at home. With your mum's consent you can start online or by phone and request an assessment. If she's hesitant, try our guide to talking to a parent about accepting help.

Keep a simple notes file. Date what you notice ("12 June: fridge nearly empty, mail unopened"). Patterns beat impressions, and notes make the GP visit and the assessment sharper.

Already funded? Ask for a reassessment

If your mum already receives Support at Home and the signs keep mounting, her funding classification may no longer match her needs. Request a reassessment through My Aged Care. Family members also get their own login and live budget view with us, so you can see whether services are used or quietly declined. More on our for families page.

Not sure what the signs add up to? Talk it through with us. No pressure, same-day response.