Lisa, 50, noticed it at Sunday lunch. Her mum Norma, 83, has always set a proper table — but this week the fridge was nearly empty, the same cardigan had a stain from last visit, and a pile of unopened mail sat by the kettle. Norma laughed it off: "I've just been busy, love." Driving home, Lisa couldn't shake the feeling that "busy" wasn't the whole story — but she also didn't want to overreact to a few small things.

Lisa's story is an illustrative scenario, created to show how Support at Home works in practice. It is not a real client testimonial.

Trust that instinct. Families rarely notice one dramatic event — they notice small changes that don't add up. No single sign below means your parent can't cope. But if you're ticking two or three, it's worth acting. Here's what to look for, and what to do next.

The six signs families notice first

  • 1. Mail and bills piling up. Unopened letters, unpaid bills or final notices often signal that paperwork has become overwhelming — one of the first quiet casualties when someone starts struggling.
  • 2. Weight loss or an empty fridge. Cooking for one takes energy. An empty fridge, expired food, or a parent who's visibly lost weight suggests meals are being skipped, not just simplified.
  • 3. Missed medications. Full blister packs, out-of-date scripts, or confusion about what's been taken. This one carries real health risks and deserves a prompt GP conversation.
  • 4. Unwashed clothes or slipping grooming. The same outfit every visit, or a parent who was always immaculate looking unkempt, often means bathing and laundry have become physically hard — and too embarrassing to mention.
  • 5. Withdrawing from people and routines. Dropping bowls club, church or coffee with friends can mean transport has become difficult, confidence has dipped, or something deeper like low mood or memory changes.
  • 6. Bruises, falls and "I just slipped". Unexplained bruises or minimised falls are the sign families most often hear about last. A fall is a reason to act now, not a one-off to hope about.

What to do next: two calls

If the pattern is there, start with two phone calls — made with your mum, not behind her back.

Call the GP. Some of these signs have treatable causes — medication side effects, low mood, vision problems, an infection. A GP check rules those out and puts the changes on the record.

Call My Aged Care (1800 200 422). This is the entry point for government-funded help at home. With your mum's consent, you can start the process yourself, online or by phone, and request an assessment. If she's hesitant about the whole idea, our guide to talking to a parent about accepting help may be the better first step.

Keep a simple notes file. Date and jot down what you notice — "12 June: fridge nearly empty, mail unopened". It feels clinical, but patterns beat impressions. Those notes make the GP visit sharper and give the aged care assessor the honest picture that gets the funding right.

Already funded? Ask for a reassessment

If your mum already receives Support at Home and the signs are still mounting, her funding classification may no longer match her needs. You can request a reassessment through My Aged Care — needs change, and the system is built to respond. This is also where visibility matters: with Partner with Care, family members get their own login and live budget view, so you can see whether services are actually being used or quietly declined. Learn more on our for families page.

And if you're simply not sure what the signs you're seeing add up to, talk it through with us — no pressure, same-day response.